


all that's left is a ghost of you

by coffeeandchemicals



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Billy Hargrove Fights Monsters Too!, Canon-Typical Violence, First Kiss, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, References to Depression, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:22:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26271079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandchemicals/pseuds/coffeeandchemicals
Summary: Billy had only been town for a few days, but he’d already noticed something wasn’t quite right with this King Steve that everyone was talking about. Something wasn’t right, but no one seemed to notice. Not the ex-girlfriend who kept giving Steve wide-eyed sad looks as if she couldn’t quell her own guilt. Not the ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend who actively avoided Steve’s gaze whenever Steve saw him in the hallways. Not the kids that Steve drove around taking them from school to the arcade to home and back again as if Steve was their personal chauffeur.But Billy noticed.And Billy watched to see what would happen. To see what Steve would do. To see if Steve would finally snap.And Billy needled Steve to see if he could get a rise out of him. To see what emotions, if any, would cross Steve’s face. To see if Steve would give in to whatever he was trying not to feel.And Billy waited.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 8
Kudos: 167





	all that's left is a ghost of you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Introvertia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertia/gifts).



> Written for the lovely [Introvertia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertia/pseuds/Introvertia) for a tumblr prompt. She wanted “You’re gone… I watched you disappear…”, “Am I going to die?”, and “I don’t think I can make it.”
> 
> Please mind the tags! If I’ve missed something, please let me know.
> 
> This is totally unbeta’d – all mistakes are my own.

Billy had only been town for a few days, but he’d already noticed something wasn’t quite right with this King Steve that everyone was talking about. Something wasn’t right, but no one seemed to notice. Not the ex-girlfriend who kept giving Steve wide-eyed sad looks as if she couldn’t quell her own guilt. Not the ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend who actively avoided Steve’s gaze whenever Steve saw him in the hallways. Not the kids that Steve drove around taking them from school to the arcade to home and back again as if Steve was their personal chauffeur. 

But Billy noticed. 

And Billy watched to see what would happen. To see what Steve would do. To see if Steve would finally snap. 

And Billy needled Steve to see if he could get a rise out of him. To see what emotions, if any, would cross Steve’s face. To see if Steve would give in to whatever he was trying not to feel. 

And Billy waited. 

On the basketball court, Billy pushed into Steve’s space, plastered himself against Steve’s back, and let himself feel the heat of another body against his own. Billy almost made a move in the showers, but he saw Steve’s flat, emotionless face, anger flashing for the briefest moment when Tommy had brought up the ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. (Billy wasn’t sure why Steve was surprised – those two had sexual chemistry that could light shit on fire.) So, Billy pulled back, he didn’t want to work with anger at someone else. If Steve had felt anger towards Billy, Billy could twist that into something more visceral, something baser. But Steve hadn’t, so Billy decided to wait. Billy decided to bide his time.

Then things became truly fucked up. 

Billy had been out looking for Max on the orders of his dad, sporting a necklace of bruises, and a healthy dose of rage that simmered under his skin. He was focusing on tamping it down, trying to contain it, when he pulled up to the Byers’ place. Before he even got out of the car, he could see Max’s head peaking through the window, her orange hair glinting in the dim light. 

Then Billy saw Steve, looking resigned and rejected as always. 

“Am I dreaming, or is that you, Harrington?” Billy drawled, letting the cigarette smoke curl out of his mouth, as he took Steve in. Steve didn’t _even_ flinch. 

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants,” Steve replied, his tone lacking any kind of bite. 

Billy sauntered up, letting his rage flicker into something more physical, definitely something more like lust. He put a hand on Steve’s shoulder and said, “I won’t–”

“Steve!” someone yelled as they come barreling out of the house, past him, and past Billy in three seconds flat. It was the curly haired kid – Billy couldn’t remember his name – and his face was covered in panic.

“Dustin, I thought I–” Steve started to say, but is cut off.

“Steve, we gotta go now. Like right now. Like should have left ten minutes ago now.”

Steve sighed, long and drawn out. But the other kids had already come tumbling out of the house, herding him forward towards his car. 

Max stared at Billy, her eyes wide. “Look,” she muttered, “Billy, I can’t explain. But I have to help.”

Billy glared at her and the other kids, taking in the organized chaos that shifted more towards chaos as the kids tried to pile into Steve’s car. 

“Fine,” he snapped, then he grabbed the keys from Steve’s loose grip. “I’m driving. Max, you tell me what’s going on.”

Steve attempted to protest, but his words and tone were lackluster at best, like he’d slipped into some sort of apathy. 

“C’mon, Harrington,” Billy said, as he circled his hand around Steve’s wrist, “let’s go.” Billy maneuvered Steve into the passenger seat without any protest. He wondered what was going on in Steve’s head, why his eyes were so blank and empty. He dropped into a crouch in front of the open door and snapped his fingers in front of Steve’s unfocused gaze. 

“Huh,” Steve muttered, “I’m not a dog, Hargrove.”

“Sure,” countered Billy, “But, man, you’re gone. I watched you disappear in the span of two minutes. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Steve snapped, spinning to face the front. 

“Monsters,” yelled the curly-haired kid – Dustin – “we need to go now!”

* * *

Monsters and tunnels were apparently the things plaguing Hawkins. Billy pieced together the fucked-up picture from the kids talking over each other. He kept making eye contact with Max in the rear-view mirror to confirm that this was, in fact, not a joke. She looked terrified enough that Billy decided the story must be true – or at least partially true. 

“Right,” said Billy, as he rummaged through Steve’s trunk to find some sort of weapon – a tire iron would do nicely – “all you kids stay here.”

“What –”

“No!”

“Billy!”

Billy stopped them all with his practiced glare. “Me and King Steve here will go check it out.”

“Yep,” Steve said, twirling his bat, looking more awake than Billy had ever seen him. Maybe Steve was sporting a death wish. Maybe he was looking for that adrenaline high. 

“It’s toxic,” Dustin said, passing bandanas and goggles first to Billy and then to Steve. Billy took them and wondered how a bandana would save him from a poisonous atmosphere, but he put it on anyway and checked to make sure that Steve was doing the same.

“You just need to distract them,” said the pinched-faced kid, who Billy thought was named Matt or Mick or Mike. “You need to give El time to close it.”

“Uh huh,” said Billy, “let’s go, pretty boy, we gotta save the town. Or some shit.” But Steve had already walked to the hole in the ground and jumped in by the time Billy had finished talking. He rolled his eyes and jumped down after Steve. 

The tunnels were eery. The lighting was dim and diffuse, as if things couldn’t quite get into focus until they were right in front of your face. The vines – or whatever the fuck they were – shifted constantly, creating rustling noises that echoed through the enclosed space. The air felt heavy as if it weighed Billy down and stole his energy. It made goosebumps crawl up the back of Billy’s neck. 

“Well,” muttered Billy, “isn’t this a nice place.” He heard piercing screams in the distance and footsteps that sounded like they were coming closer.

“C’mon,” said Steve, voice muffled under his bandana, “we gotta go this way.” He jerked his head back indicating a direction that Billy was pretty sure went the opposite way of the town, but he could tell that it would be incredibly easy to get lost in this maze. Billy picked up the can of gasoline that one of the kids had dropped down and headed after Steve, wondering if this was some sort of nightmare he was going to wake up from. 

“You alright, amigo?” Billy asked, after the silence had stretched out between them for a few minutes. He needed something to cover the squelching noises that the vines made every time he stepped on one. It made him think of intestines spilling out of some monstrous abdominal cavity. It caused his stomach to roll and bile to rise in the back of his throat.

“We’re walking in some creepy tunnels, going to fight fucking monsters. We’re armed with a bat and a tire iron. What the fuck do you think, Hargrove? Are you alright?” Steve snapped, spinning around on his heel to face Billy.

“I’m just peachy,” said Billy, grinning, even though he knew that Steve wouldn’t be able to see it. “I finally got to meet the King Steve everyone’s been talking about.” He gave Steve’s shoulder a little shove and Steve responded by balling his fist up in Billy’s shirt.

“Do you think this a joke, man?” Steve spat out. “Can’t you take something seriously for once in your life?”

“My whole fucking life is a joke,” Billy muttered, as he grabbed Steve’s wrist in an effort to pull him off. “I’m gonna die a fucking virgin in some toxic tunnels filled with demon dogs. And my dad will laugh at my funeral.”

“What,” said Steve, stepping back. “What about all those girls I see you with?”

“Just for show,” whispered Billy, heart pounding and stomach clenching, feeling more fear than when he’d dropped down into the tunnels. “Gotta keep up the image. Otherwise Neil will kill me. And he’ll still laugh at my funeral.”

Steve dropped his hand and just stared at Billy. Billy couldn’t read his expression, just saw his brown eyes, obscured by goggles, flit up and down.

“What,” said Billy, throwing his arms out, “you ain’t ever seen a fucking faggot before?”

“You–” Steve started to say, but then his jerked his head back. “Billy, c’mon, they’re coming.” He grabbed Billy’s wrist and yanked him forward as Billy suddenly heard the approaching din balloon in volume. 

“Fuck,” Billy gasped out and took off after Steve. “How did they find us?” he panted out, as he caught up to Steve.

“Oh, I dunno, maybe it was all the talking – you’re not exactly subtle.”

“I’m not subtle? Amigo, I’m as subtle as they come.”

Steve peeled around the corner and yelled over his shoulder, “Dude, you hit on me in the showers. At school. You were fucking naked. You don’t think I didn’t notice that?” Steve dropped his gaze to Billy’s crotch in an exaggerated gesture. 

Billy flushed. Yeah, that hadn’t been exactly inconspicuous. 

“That was one time,” Billy yelled back, as he stumbled over the vines and almost fell into Steve. Because Steve had stopped short. Because there was a pack of fucking monsters staring them down only twenty feet away. 

They were trapped. 

“Well. Shit,” said Billy, as he glanced over his shoulder to see the other pack closing in. “Am I going to die?” he forced out.

“It would appear that way,” whispered Steve, as he backed against the wall, but jumped forward almost immediately as the vines shifted behind him. 

“Fuck it,” said Billy, dropping both the tire iron and can of gasoline. He wrenched down his bandana.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, as he put two hands on the bat, getting ready to swing at the monsters.

“Being unsubtle,” responded Billy, as he yanked down Steve’s bandana. Then he leaned in and kissed him, trying to inject all the feelings of wanting, desire, fear, and hope into it. At first, Steve didn’t respond, but then he kissed Billy back, bringing one of his hands to cradle the back of Billy’s head. Billy licked his tongue across the seam of Steve’s lips and sighed when Steve opened to him. He let his hands move up and down Steve’s back, feeling the muscles shift beneath his fingertips. 

Steve jerked back, “Not now.” 

“We’re gonna die, seems as good a time as any,” muttered Billy, leaning forward, trying to catch Steve’s lips in another kiss. 

Steve shook his head, pulled up his bandana, and then pulled up Billy’s. He dropped down in a crouch and eyed both packs. Then he picked up the tire iron and tipped over the can of gasoline, letting it spill down the tunnel.

“I’m gonna light this,” said Steve, softly, “and then we’re gonna run that way. There’s fewer of them. Are you ready?”

“No.”

“Too fucking bad. Run!”

Steve dropped his lighter and the gas whooshed into flame. Then he grabbed Billy and took off towards the smaller group. Billy started swinging as soon as they were in range, but one of the monsters took a huge gouge out of his thigh and another locked onto his forearm. He gritted his teeth and tried to fight against the pain. His managed to shake the monster off his arm, but blood was pouring out of both wounds. He dropped to all fours, hoping that his death would be quick, but fearing that it wouldn’t be. Then Steve was wrapping an arm around his middle, trying to pull him up.

“Why,” Steve gasped out, swinging the bat to knock another monster away, “are you so fucking heavy?”

“’m not,” slurred Billy, as he tried to get to his feet. The tunnel was filled with smoke, further decreasing visibility. And then all the monsters took off, running down the tunnel as if they’d been summoned. 

“What the fuck?” Steve said, as he finally got Billy standing. 

Billy surveyed Steve, he didn’t seem to be hurt too badly, just scratches on his arms and legs. 

“C’mon, we gotta go.” Steve pulled on Billy’s arm, trying to get him moving. 

Billy took a few shuffling steps forward. “I don’t think I can make it.”

“Bullshit,” said Steve, “don’t tell me after all the shit you’ve been through in your _joke of a life_ that some teeny tiny flesh wounds are gonna stop you now.”

“And what if they are,” Billy forced out as he took a few more steps. 

“Then there was really no point in kissing me,” Steve said, throwing Billy’s arm over his shoulder to take some of Billy’s weight off his injured leg. They took a few more steps, but the blood was still streaming out of the wound on Billy’s thigh. 

“Hang on,” Steve said, as he ripped off his jacket and dropped down in front of Billy. And wasn’t that a heady vision – Steve on his knees in front of him. Billy would have liked it more if he could’ve seen Steve’s face, but by the time that thought had crossed his brain, Steve had finished tying the makeshift bandage around Billy’s thigh.

“Let’s go.” Steve got Billy’s arm over his shoulder, put his arm around Billy’s waist, and they started their awkward shuffle run down the tunnels. 

Billy heard the kids before he saw them. They were leaning down into the hole, yelling their heads off for Billy and Steve to hurry up. One of them had found a rope, which was good, because as they got closer to the opening, Billy was sure they wouldn’t be able to climb out. 

“Guys,” snapped Steve, “he’s gonna need some help. I’m gonna boost him, you guys try to grab him.”

“I’m fine,” countered Billy, as a he reached for the rope with his injured arm. His fingers wouldn’t close around it, he couldn’t maintain a good grip.

“Billy,” Steve said, “you’re going to have to use your legs and it’s gonna fucking hurt. But if you don’t, there’s no way you’re gonna get outta here.” Then he clasped his fingers together so Billy could step in the bucket of his intertwined hands. 

Billy did as he was told. Steve was able to lift him higher than Billy would have gotten if he’d taken a running leap it. He clung to the rope as he tried to shimmy up it. He could feel hands grasping at his shoulders, trying to pull him up. Then he saw Steve on the rope below him, trying to give him something to push off of. And, finally, Billy was able to throw himself out of the hole, with Max pulling on the shoulders of his jacket so he wouldn’t slide back down. 

He saw Steve’s very tired face, but something surprisingly animated given how blank those eyes had been earlier. Then he saw nothing but darkness as he passed out.

* * *

“Billy, you’re at the Byers’, we’ve patched you up. Max said you probably wouldn’t want to go to the hospital,” Steve said, as his face swam into view.

Billy blinked a few times to clear the haze. His throat was dry; he swallowed a few times and then Steve was there, passing him a glass of water. Billy sat up and looked himself over – both his arm and leg were wrapped in a clean, white bandages. And he wasn’t wearing pants. A blanket was draped over his lap and Billy wondered who had undressed him.

“You always go commando, or is that for special occasions?” Steve asked, as he sat back on the coffee table, next to the couch that Billy was lying on. 

“Special occasions,” countered Billy, his voice was rough as if he’d been asleep for awhile. 

“Yeah?” said Steve, raising his eyebrows and leaning forward, dropping his elbows to his knees. “Don’t worry, it was only me that saw you.”

“I dunno if that makes me feel better or worse,” muttered Billy, closing his eyes as he slumped back down. 

“That depends on if you want to kiss me again or not.”

“Always want to kiss you,” Billy slurred out, as exhaustion began to take hold. He cracked open his eyes to stare at Steve. “Do you want me to?”

Steve leaned forward, eyes twinkling with amusement and… something that looked like affection, “Yes,” he whispered.

And Billy drifted off feeling the ghost of Steve’s lips against his own.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from [Little Talks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I&ab_channel=OfMonstersAndMenVEVO) by Of Monsters and Men. (Which was all I could think of when I saw the first prompt)
> 
> Any comments or kudos are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr! You can find me @ [coffeeandchemicals](https://coffeeandchemicals.tumblr.com/). (Spoiler alert - I am learning how to tumblr, but it’s a slow process.)


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